Why did the mailman go to school?

He wanted to learn about the Pony Express!

Why did the mailman go to the vet?

He heard there was a shot and thought there was some old-fashioned duel.

Why did the mailman kill a llama?

He prefered transportation by horse.

Why didn't the mailman deliver mail to 666 Westleaf?

It was satanic.

Why did the mailman pick a penny off of the road?

He wanted the moola.

Why did the mailman stick some chewed gum in the printing press while it was printing?

He wanted to make taffy.

Why does the mailman favor 1 dollar bills over 2 dollar bills?

Because the 2 dollar bill, unlike stamps, are not produced anymore.

Why did the mailman go to the library?

He wanted to check out a book on stamps.

Why doesn’t the mailman lick stamps with females on them.

He is Homostampuel.

Why did the mailman go to jail?

He stuck chewed gum in the printing press.

How did the mailman get out of jail?

He sent a letter to his hom’s.

Why does the mailman skip my house?

One day I forgot to take the mail out.

What did the mailman do when his wife called him a stupid letter-giving, free-living, stamp driven poo?

He stamped out.

What did the mailman do when the government took away his car?

He sent them a letter-bomb.

When does the mailman go to bed?

1:00 PM, post meridian.

What does the mailman ride to work?

A horse.

Why did the mailman get fired by his female boss, Stamp Sticker?

He gave that sticker a licker.

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